Monzo Bank

unmute / 'that was so helpful thank you bye!' / hang up

We're not crying, you're crying 😢

NOT SURE WHO NEEDS TO HEAR THIS BUT: - straighten your back - drink a glass of water  - restart your laptop - it might be May, but you still need a light jacket (don’t be fooled by this weather)

When the pollen hits your eye like a big pizza pie that’s a-seasonal allergies.

The sun's out, your favourite colleague is in the office, you successfully used the printer, and everyone’s heading to Greggs for lunch.

It’s two minutes past and you’re still in the room we booked. Ready or not, we’re coming in.

THINGS WE’RE BUZZING FOR: - It’s Friday. Say less - Next week’s weather forecast is looking decent - Greg is out of office - It’s payday week - Freddos are 10p again (if you have a Nectar card)

It's 5pm. The number of half-drunk mugs of tea on my desk is between me and my kettle.

THINGS YOU CAN SAY IF YOU DON’T KNOW WHAT TO SAY IN A MEETING: ”it’s all about finding that balance” ”just to echo...” (repeat what someone else said) ”sounds good!” (if people are smiling) “hmmm” (if people aren’t smiling) ”are we thinking outside the box though?” ”everyone’s already covered what I was going to say”

MORE HEARTBREAKING MOMENTS AT WORK: - Sharing your screen and accidentally revealing your Google search for how to spell “recieve” - Spending ages making the perfectly crafted excel sheet and it just gets a ‘👍’ - Urgently needing to print a Vinted label but the one colleague who knows how to use the printer is on holiday - Checking the time and only 3 mins have passed not 3 hours - Wearing an absolutely fire outfit but no one’s in the office